How to Offer Your Support

Support comes in many forms, mainly physically and mentally. People in your life; like family members, friends, and loved ones, can help you emotionally by offering social and emotional support. Here is a list of a few steps to take when emotionally supporting another:

1) ASK: Making sure you are asking questions that are genuine and that is give both parties a better understanding of their current mental state. If you know someone who is struggling with their mental health and challenges and aren’t sure how to start a conversation, try starting with some general questions, such as, “What’s been happening lately?”, or " what is on your mind?" Try to keep your questions open-ended instead of asking yes and no questions This invites an explanation and helps keep the discussion going

2) LISTEN: When you really listen to someone, you give them your full attention, not letting your thoughts wonder and getting distracted or off task. Being a good listener requires more than just listening, body language plays a huge part. By displaying open body language, like leaning into them, relaxing your face, or keeping your arms and legs uncrossed. Nodding along with their words or making noises of agreement instead of interrupting is a great way to let the other person know you are listening and engaged. Using good listening skills shows others you care and for someone who’s struggling, knowing that someone else has heard their pain can make a big difference.

3) VALIDATION: Support doesn’t require you to fully understand a problem or provide a solution. Often, it involves the other needing some sort of validation. When you validate someone, you’re letting them know you see and understand their struggles.

4) DO NOT JUDGE: When offering support, try to keep your opinions on what they should have done or where they went wrong to yourself. Often times, people already know what they did wrong or could have done differently and they just want to feel like its not the end of the world. Avoid asking questions they might interpret as blaming or judgmental, such as, “why were they so mad at you?” Even if you don’t offer any judgment or criticism, tone can display a lot of emotion, so your voice might share emotions you didn’t intend sharing.

5) KNOWING WHEN TO GIVE ADVICE: Sometimes advise is unwanted, often times people just want to be heard and validated, To understand when to give advice, you have to understand whether the other party is presenting the issue in a form of a question or a statement. When they are stating to you their issues, then this is when you just listen and reassure. If they explain their issue as a question, this is when they are seeking advice.

6) SUPPORT: In times of personal difficulty, particularly when dealing with rejection, can bring people down and make them doubt themselves and their abilities. Avoid telling them what you think they should do, this can feel dismissive of their feelings and take away from support you’ve already offered. It’s not for anyone else to say how distressed someone should feel about any issues or struggles they may be going through, After you’ve listened and validated their emotions and feelings, show compassion, understanding, and a genuine concern for their well being. The little things matter! A hug can go such a long way! They say that a 20 second hug releases endorphins that make us happy. Other things like a small token of gratitude, or helping them with a daily talk, or even planning a small outing can make all the difference for someone.

7) CHECK IN: Revisiting the issue or discussion a few days after, will let them know they matter to you even though you don’t have much involvement. There is no need to rehash the conservation, but it’s respectable to ask how things are going and let them know you care. Sometimes just knowing they have someone that cares enough to check on them, could save someone's life!

In conclusion, emotional support isn’t something that can be seen, or touched, and you may not notice the impression it had right away, particularly if you’re the one who is struggling. Support can remind us that others love, value, and have our best interest. When we offer emotional support, we are saying that you aren’t alone. This can have more of an impact on emotional health than other temporary forms of support. Band-Aids and quick fixes are not going to work. People need genuine forms of interaction to solidify for them that there are people out there that really do care.